Castle in the Air
by Electronic-Star
Summary: Would you turn back time and change your past to avoid your fate? Clerithx3


**A.N. **Yeah, this is my sec. Songfic. This song's called "Castle in the air" by Jenix. This son reminds me so much of Aerith that I had to write a story about it! Sadly I never had a good idea for a story but now inspiration struck me! This song's kinda happy, but the story will be even sadder and I'm sure you'll notice some similarities to another ff of mine^^ This song's really short, but since I'm not the kind of writer who just writes mini oneshots, it's gonna be longer.

**Disclaimer – **I don't own FF.

**Castle in the Air**

„I'll come back when it's all over."

She knew it was a lie...She would never come back again. But that was her fate. As everyone slept, she sneaked out, to go to the Forgotten City. Even though she didn't really want to go, she had to. It was her destiny. The destiny of the last Cetra. She was the only one who can thwart Sephiroth's plan. She knew that death's waiting for her at the end of her journey, but she wasn't afraid. Cetra as she knew that death doesn't means the end. They all would return to the Lifestream of the planet and merge with it. She knew that her friends would follow as soon as they realize that she's no longer there, but she had to extend her lead to fulfill her destiny, before the others will find her. It wasn't easy for her to go to Bone Village. The people there told her that she needs a lunar harp go through the Sleeping Forest but she didn't need it. Cetra were able to go though whenever they like, it was a protective mechanism to keep other people and monsters out of the city. The Forgotten City looked like an underwater landscape. Aerith found this place beautiful, but also scary.

It must be because she felt **his** presence. All she had to do was to find a sacred and safe place to pray. She walked through the town and finally came to a small lake. She was guided by the voices of the lifestream, that she could hear clearer than anywhere else. The water glistened beautifully in the moonlight. Tomorrow morning would her friends follow her. Cloud knew where she went. She entered his dreams with magic and told him her plan. The sight of Clouds face, as she told him that she's going almost tore her heart. And when she left his dream, he tried desperately to follow her...She couldn't allow him to follow her, because that would mean that he'll wake up, so she enchanted him to escape. In that dream, she could see the true Cloud and that thought bourght tears in her eyes. She would love to know the real Cloud, who's not like Zack. But she couldn't...She walked past the lake and went into a shell-shaped building. Aerith went up the spiral path and when she reached a certain place, a secret passage opened and leads down. She ran down the almost translucent and shimmering blue stairs and arrived another lake. In the center was a shrine. After she made sure that she is alone, she went to the shrine and knelt down. She folded her hands, closed her eyes and began to pray.

When they were in The Temple of the Ancient the elders told her what to do. After the Black Materia had gotten in Sephiroths hands, Cloud got a nervous breakdown, it was said to act quickly. The elders told her that they created after the Black Materia, which triggers the ultimate destruction spell Meteor, a White Materia, which triggers the ultimate White Magic Holy. As Aerith asked them where the White Materia is, they told her that she has it for already.

The White Materia was passed on from generation to generation, so that they could help the planet if it's in danger. Aerith thought of the Materia she received from her mother. The one, which is supposed to be good for nothing. And since she figured out that she's the only one who could save the planet from Meteor, she went away. Only Cetra were able to conjure up this sacred spell. The flower girl was praying to the planet, begged it for the planets power in order to activate the White Materia. During the prayer lots of memories came up in Aerith, almost as if her life is played once again by a band when you're about to die. This came in useful to her. There's no better time to think about the past, as now.

She knew that Sephiroth is near and that she must return to the lifestream soon. But she didn't know why he's waiting...Is he waiting for Cloud and the others? In order to kill her right before his eyes? Aerith knew it would hurt him, yes, even tear him up inside of him. She didn't want to see it. She didn't want to see how Cloud suffers...Maybe it would be better if she would die right now...if Cloud would see her alive, he would only unnecessarily make himself hope of being able to save her, just so that his hope will be destroyed when Sephiroth strikes at that moment...

Aerith tried to banish these thoughts to focus on her task again. She had to reach the planet and to summon Holy! She had no time for those thoughts, she had to pray. However, her thoughts drifted during the prayer back to her childhood...And except for her mothers death and that she was locked in a lab, she actually had a good time. But her time together with Cloud, Tifa and the others were the best she's ever experienced. She has many friends could admire the beauty of the planet and had a nice time with their companions and best friends.

_Time is fadin' away and all I could say  
it was beautiful, magical, honestly._

Although the journey through the planet was very tiring sometimes, she loved it. She found it incredibly comfortable to travel through the planet and to experience new things. Back then they didn't know that all the Cetra travelled before their time. It comes naturally to her. Of course there were some ups and downs during their journey. They're everywhere, even while her former relationship with Zack.

When she found out that he was one of SOLDIER, one of Shin-Ra, who wanted to take her since childhood, the time as Zack's best friend died...their first date, the flower wagon, even the times when she wanted to tease him, but all he did was countering...also his idiotic ideas, but she still did what he said, like the date and his suggestion she should wear more pink. When her comrades were about to give up hope during the journey, she tried to cheer everyone up again, even if she was on the verge of giving up as well. She promised them a better future and she will keep it. Once Holy is in evidence, she did it. Unfortunately, she can't life with their friends in this future...

_Time has always remind  
me of the climb and the fall and everything in __between_

_and please call me insane.  
I don't feel any pain,  
if I tell you now:_

But she doesn't complain about it. She would do it again every time. She also had the thought that if it was possible to turn back time and to be able to change everything in her life, her past, to undo her mistakes, erase her fate as a Cetra...She sure, she wouldn't change anything. Her life is perfect just the way it is and that made her what she is now. And it felt good to her. Because she knows if she would change a tiny bit of her past, she definitely wouldn't met Cloud and the others.

Or Zack...or her adoptive mother Elmyra. And what would life be without them? It surely wouldn't be so great. Sure, she might save her family, would live with her parents, in her birthplace, where Shin-Ra doesn't know anything about her, but then she wouldn't have met all the wonderful people and wouldn't have made so many friends...

_Even if I could turn back time,  
even if I could change my life,  
if I could undo mistakes I've made,  
if I could erase every blow of fate,  
I wouldn't do anything, that's why  
I am what I am, and that's how it should be.  
__Yes, it feels so good to me._

Once she took a shine to Elmyra, she had a very happy childhood. Even then she had the talent to let flowers grow in the barren soil and let them bloom. Although she hasn't seen the whole town, but she knew that her house was the prettiest part of Midgar. However, since she had no friends, she often played with Elmyra, made jewelleries of flowers, or just put them in her hair and she kept dreaming to herself. She could only do this when no the Turks lurks somewhere near...To be a Cetra was a tough time back then...to hear whispering all the time, which she didn't know who or what they are and why just SHE could hear them. But she got used to it and as Tseng once told her why she heard these voices, she wasn't afraid anymore. Even when the spirit of Elmyras husband came to her to leave her a message didn't terrify her.

_When I was a child I used hide  
behind walls made of honey and strawberries _

_a__nd build castles in the air, put flowers in my hair.  
I took part and I own little fairy tale._

Tseng was a Turk, who was actually with her constantly. He was almost like a bodyguard, except that he worked for Shin-Ra and his mission was to bring her to the headquarters...to the lab where she was imprisoned with her mother...But he never shoved her. If she didn't want to go with him, he accepted that and left her alone. However, she felt that he was watching her from afar, as if he feared that she would run away.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone. Was feared that it was Sephiroth, because her prayer wasn't finished yet, but he would rather sneak up than to storm down the stairs. She didn't know how long she knelt there and prayed, but it must have been a couple of hours. „Aerith!", she heard someone call. She would recognize his voice everywhere. But she didn't look up, she still had to finish the prayer. So she cut out everything and concentrated. Immediately she thought of her time with Cloud. All the memories she'd shared with him. This was the best time when she was alone with Cloud. To be with Tifa and Yuffie was great too, but it was funnier with Cloud. He's always so simple and clumsy. So easy to predict, that it was incredibly funny to tease him.

He was always so embarrassed and nervous and stumbled over his own words. Sometimes he even laughed with her, but that only happened when the two of them were all alone. Maybe he didn't want everyone to see it? Or maybe his small smiles and his laughter were just for her? Just as his gentle look? She wasn't sure, but deep inside of her, her selfish side wished, that it's true. Even as Cloud stood in front of her, she didn't look up. She listened as he drew his sword and was getting ready to strike. It was exactly as back then in the Temple of the Ancients, as Cloud gave Sephiroth the Black Materia. Cloud was no longer himself and attacked her. Sephiroth had manipulated him and imposed him his own will and now he'll give her the coup de grâce. _If this is my destiny, so be it._, she thought and got ready. She thought it's not bad when Cloud is the one who ends her life, but she feared that he would never forgive himself...Cloud was about to attack, but then she heard her friends yell at him. „Cloud!"  
„Stop!"  
„What are you doing?"

Aerith heard how Cloud quickly walked away from her and let his sword fall to the ground. „Ugh...What are you making me do?", asked Cloud. She knew that he meant Sephiroth. Who else would be able to do this? Aerith suddenly felt a great mass of energy and the White Materia, which was on her braid shone pale green. She did it. She had managed to summon the ultimate White Magic Holy. Aerith had reached the planet! Now she opened her emerald green eyes and looked up at Cloud, whose gaze is fixed on her.

She smiled at him. „Cloud, I did it.", she wanted to say, but then she felt something sharp pierced her stomach. That surprised her a bit. She hadn't noticed his presence at all any more. Perhaps was too focused on Cloud and just forgot him...She looked down and saw Sephiroths blood-stained sword pierced her body. He waited a while, perhaps to shock Cloud further...Then he pulled his sword out of her body, which hurt just as if he would push it in. Suddenly, she a scream reached.

But it wasn't her own. If it had been her own, she would've felt the blood passes through her throat. No, it was the cry of Clouds heart, which broke like glass. Now it was finally done...she already knew that Clouds heart resembled a cracking egg. But not the one where will hatch something, but as if it's cooked too hot and will explode. She prepared herself to hit the ground, but Cloud caught her and held her in his arms. She always wanted to be so close to him, but not like this...the only thing she picked up in this situation were Clouds sapphire blue eyes, in which reflects so many emotions.

She's seen that he spoke with his eyes more than through facial expressions or gestures. During her last breaths she was only focused on him and looked at him intently, as she felt like she was getting colder. The emotions Clouds eyes reflected were longing, despair, hatred and love...even hopelessness. The sight nearly broke her heart. Then she closed her eyes, took a last breath and then she felt nothing anymore.

_and please call me insane  
I don't__ feel any pain  
If I tell you that:_

She didn't know how much time had passed, but it was as if she opened her eyes again. Of course she knew that she was dead, but now she could see everything through her soul. She looked up at Cloud, who carried her away from the shrine. His eyes were fixed on her and she could still see the same feelings in his eyes, as before when she was kinda alive. Her senses were sharper than before, so she could see even more in Cloud. Aerith looked at him as intently as he did. She wanted to tell him that everything's okay with her. Of course, not everything "okay", but she felt no remorse, nor sorrow, and she wanted to tell him this, but her voice would never reach him. He wasn't a Cetra, so he couldn't hear her...Through his eyes, she could always see his inner self and now he was totally broken inside and there was nothing left. Still, it was all worth it. Cloud, Tifa and the others, all the other people and the planet itself would life on and that made her quite happy. Now they must defeat Sephiroth and then Holy can emerge.

_Even if I could turn back time,  
even if I could change my life,  
if I could undo mistakes I've made,  
__if I could erase every blow of fate,  
I wo__uldn't do anything, that's why  
I am what I am, and that's how it should be.  
Yes, it feels so good to me._

Soon they arrived their destiny. Cloud carried her to the lake in front of the building where they were in just now. He went in with her, and went so deep that the water reached to his waist, while the others remained on shore. She looked over to the others, which looked like Cloud: sad, but not as broken as him. Tifa seemed to pray, Red XIII was howling at the moon and the others were silent. Cloud stood for a while on the spot and didn't move. He probably doesn't care that his clothes are soaked, or that he stands in the freezing water. He stared at her and did not let her go. Aerith was worried that he would never let her go, but he had to. He couldn't stand here all the time after all, even if she would appreciate it. But they all still had a mission to fulfil. As if Cloud could hear her thoughts, he now moved. He leaned closer to her and kissed her forehead.

„I love you...", he whispered before he finally let her body sink into the water until she was half covered, but he still held onto her. _I love you too._, she replied, but her voice didn't reach him. He looked at her a while longer, before he let go and let her sank into the dark abyss of the lake. She looked up to the surface and watched Cloud and her friends. It seems like they'd just fought and were wounded slightly, so she used all her spiritual power to send them a last Healing Wind, that cured them. _Don't blame yourself for all this, Cloud. It was my own decision. You've done everything right._, she said, even though she knew that he wouldn't hear her.

_T__o me..._


End file.
